Budget Committee Meeting
One of the first lessons in the Financial Peace University focuses on the family budget committee meeting. (Dave has tips for singles on this too!) Basically, we should spend some time each week as a family discussing the budget. It can be 15 minutes or an hour, however you long you need to feel comfortable with everything. “When you agree on your value system, you will reach a unity in your marriage that you can experience no other way.” So, we meet at 8:00 p.m. on Sundays for the Bynum Budget Commitee Meeting. 🙂
Sounds right up our alley, huh? WRONG. It’s been tough. We did really well the first week because it was new and we had a ton to discuss. Then, we had a new month coming up and had to prepare the monthly budget for that. Then, I think we traveled or something and it kinda dropped off. But, all in all, we are meeting weekly for at least 15 minutes at some point. It’s been hard but totally worth it.
Dave begins this lesson identifying the different types in the relationship when dealing with finances: the free spirit and the nerd. You may can guess who is who. And yes, sometimes we’re both, but we’ve noticed that if in a situation Tim is the free spirit, then I can be the nerd. We balance each other. I am definitely the free spirit when it comes to the budget committee meeting, however. I cannot sit still. I make inappropriate jokes and I like to budget half to clothing to and entertainment. I’m not trying to be difficult I just can’t sit and talk about our money for that long. But really, after the first excruciating meeting, it got a lot better.
One thing that Ramsey points out is that money is the reason for around 90% of divorces that happen within the first 7 years of marriage. That’s insane! Really…it made me look at my husband and think “I will not let money do that to us.” And while that’s nice and sweet, and I know Tim feels the same way, the honest way to look at is, if you don’t BOTH take the time and care to be responsible for your money, then, those fights are easy to get in to. And that’s exactly how we’ve been about money. Identifying that, yes, I am the free spirit and Tim is the nerd made it easier to do the budget committee meeting the second time. He lets me be goofy and I let him do all the fancy calculations but I am totally present in the conversation.
It’s not magic, we don’t always click when it comes to money, but I feel that we have a way to honestly discuss things and come to an answer we both agree on. Being the free spirit, I didn’t know where every dollar went or even when our auto-draft bills happened. No clue. I just knew Tim would take care of that and I didn’t need to worry about it. Tim had to change and realize that I need to know these things and I needed to change and actually want to know these things. Once we sat down and filled out the forms and saw where every dollar went every single month, I felt so much better about our finances. I think Tim did too, because now that I get it, we can actually work together. How many marriages would be better if the husband and wife actually understood that they’re on the same side?
So, the only way you will learn to agree is by actually discussing the issues. Identify who is the free spirit and who is the nerd and find the good in both. Make time, even just a little, to do decision-making together and you’ll notice a difference, I promise!
“Tell me, and I’ll forget. Show me, and I may not remember. Involve me, and I’ll understand.” (Native American Saying)